Little British Brats

If you haven't already, then please read the latest interview with Jason Kenny and Laura Trott about the upcoming Commonwealth Games in Scotland (read the interview here).  If reading that doesn't make you punch your computer screen then enjoy my little rant below about these two complete wastes of space and cycling talent...


I swear... These two are exactly what is wrong with cycling. Especially track cycling. I'm used to the British team being exceptionally arrogant when it comes to their preparations for different events, but these two are like the Kanye West and Paris Hilton's of the cycling world. Completely disillusioned as to the state of affairs due to the non-stop hand-holding/coddling they receive day in and day out.  I am sure that their interview will be followed up with a series of responses and take backs about how they "didn't mean it like that", or how the whole conversation was "taken out of context", but get real.  Pull your head from the clouds and think before you speak.

First off, for Jason Kenny to brush off the Commonwealth Games because it "doesn't pay the bills" is such a arrogant and condescending thing to say it's almost beyond my ability to comprehend that state of mind. Right off the top, you're an idiot, you ass. "Pay the bills", you have no bills to pay! The house you live in with your girlfriend has been paid for by your cycling efforts.  You bellyache that you won't make money off the Commonwealth Games, but at least you make money off of cycling period.  I would love to see you try doing what you do without any funding, let alone a salary.  I race my bike because I love to race.  I love to win.  I train because I believe I will beat you (again) someday.  Now I understand that there are certain races that are more important than others for Olympic qualification and if you won't be giving your best peak for Commonwealth games, then fine, I understand.  But do not take away from the prestige of the event and rest of competitors who are taking the racing seriously just because you won't get a big pay day from it.

Commonwealth Games don't matter, we get it.  You are blessed to have a NGB that supports you and invests in you for a full Olympic campaign regardless of your results in the years between the Olympics.  Thanks for admitting that by the way.  I've been saying that non-stop since London and not everyone believes me.  But now you've put it out there so that we all know when the press reports on your "poor performances" at the most recent World Championships and tries to sell us that you're "stumbling", we can all rest assured that it's all part of the program's master plan and we can expect a major upswing come Rio.

As for Laura Trott, you really are as ignorant as you look.  We get it that you're from a nation where all cycling, women or men, is vastly more supported than almost anywhere else.  But just because you don't have the sheer will, or the spine, to race for more than 5 days consecutively does not mean you should shoot down the idea of a full women's Tour de France for everyone else who wants it to move forward.  I am of the mindset that more is more when it comes to opportunities for everyone.  Even if you personally don't want to line up for a 3 week long women's stage race, you should still openly endorse and support it.  More racing for women is more racing for everyone in my eyes.  Everyone thinks of it as a constant comparison of men vs women but I believe equal pay and equal racing opportunities should be viewed as a positive growth for cycling as a whole.  The more everyone gets to race, the more exposure the sport of cycling gets and the more exposure cycling has the more interest there will be in it.  For instance, I know track cycling will never be as popular as the Tour de France.  But if an exciting Tour (men or women) motivates say 1,000 people to start cycling in some capacity, then that is a win to me.  If only one of those people eventually tries track cycling then it was most definitely a win.  Therefore, I support the Tour de France even if I would never race it in my entire life.  But for you to talk negatively and discouragingly about the prospect of full women's tour only does more harm than good.  And don't even get me started on Jason Kenny's comment "there would be deaths".  You freak'n moron.  

I used to think that you two were classy, professional athletes.  Champions even.  But now I see you both are nothing more than a bunch of spoiled little bratty kids crying in public because your parents won't get you the newest iPad when you already have 3 previous ones at home.  Chris Hoy was a great champion, professional and gentlemen.  You two are a complete disgrace to your nation, track cycling and even the entire cycling community.  I am beyond thankful that you race for another country so that you are always competition and I can root for ANYONE else to beat you.  Go away and stop cycling as soon as possible please.  You are not helping to further our sport or to truthfully "give back" like you want to appear you are.  Just because you take few pictures with some kids at the track does not mean you've done anything to help grow cycling.  Try actually donating some of your time to being track side with new riders to the sport.  Maybe it would help you to remember why you started it in the first place.  Every young or new rider I work with on the velodrome is a constant reminder of the pure joy I felt the first time I completed a lap around a track.  Witnessing and being a part of that moment for hundreds of people is one of my most proud accomplishments.  The sooner you and your self serving arrogance leave the sooner the rest of us can keep actually helping the sport to grow.  To put it in language you might actually understand, "piss off".

So in closing (now that I've actually started to cool off), I guess the question is what is the real source of the problem here?  Are these really just two monumentally idiotic riders who just so happen to be from the same country and dating?  Or are they simply a bi-product of a system built and designed to create such monsters like a production line?  When you see a kid throwing a temper tantrum at a store, do you blame the kid or the parenting?  I blame the parenting and therefor blame British Cycling.  They may be the most successful cycling nation in the world but they sure seem to have their heads squarely where the sun doesn't shine.  Let me just say how thrilled I am that the head of the UCI is now British...

Elastic Tits